A few weeks ago I caught up with Kemi Oloyede aka KayRiley, the force behind #ThatWoman, the movement thats gone global, inspiring & empowering women one post at a time. We spoke about the story behind the hashtag, self love, beauty standards & how she went about turning her pain into purpose...
Q1. What inspired you to write “That Woman”?
Well, 2015 was a very, very challenging year for me and I was in a very bad place. I knew that in order to get out of that place I couldn't rely on anyone or anything else. I had to get myself out of that bad situation so I wrote the poem “That Woman.” It was a way for me to look at myself as working towards the woman I want to be. In hope that whenever I refer back to it I know the woman I am trying to become.
Q2. Would you say that through “That Woman” you have been able to turn your pain into purpose?
Most definitely, thats exactly what I did with it. Which is why I'm so passionate about it.
Q3. What started off as an idea has now gone onto impact the lives of women all around the world. Did you think it would have had such an impact?
I had no idea. You have to remember that this started of as a selfish act, I wanted to get more views on my blog originally and now through my poem and actually starting the hashtag, women from all over the world have been part of it and it’s still going. One thing that I think people don't realise is that I feel like these women have inspired me more than I feel I have inspired them. I wrote one poem, imagine all the posts I have received because of that, and not only the posts, the emails, the DM’s, the tweets as well, its overwhelming but I love it.
"I wasn't born to have a video vixens body, […] This is me and I have to accept me for me, so society can do whatever it wants but we need to learn to accept ourselves."
Q4. Working in education, do you ever feel like you have to sensor your self and the work that you put out?
Yeah I do, I feel like I'm living a double life. I have to do certain things obviously so it doesn't interfere with my work. My poems are based on how I feel/ my experiences, that’s my passion. But I feel like I'm playing a role when I'm at work sometimes. However it's also allowed me to just be more open with myself and understand that, we’re still human. Even the kids I teach they’re still human, they still feel, or are going to feel what I’m feeling one day or they are feeling it now and I guess that makes it easier.
Q5. Your poem, “I love my body” discusses your battle with self acceptance and societies definition of beauty. What are your thoughts on standards of beauty and the way in which women’s bodies and appearances are often defined by society?
KO: Can I swear?
CE: Yes!
I think it’s absolute bullshit. Sorry, “That Woman” doesn't swear *Laughs*, however, theres so much pressure to look a certain way. I wasn't born to have a video vixens body, like big boobs, big thighs and a big bum. This is me and I have to accept me for me, so society can do whatever it wants but we need to learn to accept ourselves. I’m not saying you shouldn't work on yourself, go to the gym if you want to get healthy and so on but don't do it because of someone else. You just need to take care of your body and actually accept and love yourself first, otherwise even if you do change yourself you wont love yourself anyway.
"Don’t compromise yourself to the point that you loose sight of who you really are."
Q6. What were some of your reasons behind “I love my body”?
People made me feel a certain way about my body. I was told I was ‘too skinny’ my breasts weren't big enough, that I didn’t have a big enough bum or whatever and instead of picking myself apart I had to put myself together again but I couldn't rely on anyone else, It was all me, so I had to love myself and not listen to what other people had to say.
Q7. What advice would you give to your younger self?
I would say to focus on you, and everything else will fall into place. Don't let anyone or anything or anyone else's perception or opinion of you shake you and make you into something that you're not. Don't compromise yourself to the point that you loose sight of who you really are.
Q8.What can we expect next from that woman?
I have the “That Woman” mind, body and soul event coming up on Saturday, 19 March and it's all about Women equipping themselves or setting themselves up in the right way to achieve their goals. You can be as ambitions as you want but if your mind, body and soul are not in Sync, if you don't believe in yourself, its never going to work so you need to try and at least make sure that you have a positive mindset. That what you've got set out to do sits well with your spirit, your soul and that you're physically healthy and able to do what you want to do so that's the aim.
Tickets for Kemi’s “Mind, Body & Soul” event can be bought here.
You can find Kemi on IG: @KayRiley92_ | Twitter: KayRiley92_
| Website: www.kay-riley.com
Love & Light
Chi x
Chi x
@Chiomacezeh
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